Doesn't that sound funny coming from a thirtysomething gal, who is very happily married, with three amazing children, who has a very successful beyond my belief business who has a dream house and is living a dream life?

But that's what I wonder sometimes.  Because I don't always know where I'm going.

I know where I've been, and that scares me. I just flat don't know where I'm going. I always have these wonderful plans of what I want to do. They are big, grandiose plans. And I know I can make them work, because I have been pretty successful without a lot of effort.  Can you imagine what I'd do if I tried?

But the fact of the matter is that sometimes, much of the time, I just want to be a wife. A mom. A volunteer. I don't want to work 9-5 (HA!) or use my mind and skills to create some marketing piece, or make a website reach #1 on Google indexes and search engine areas. YES, that's what I'm good at doing.  But I just want to sit at a coffee shop during the day, and write a book while sipping hot coffee. I want to be at the bus stop when the kids get home from school. I want to take tap dancing lessons (yes, I take dance lessons, but theyre not TAP...).

Those things take money, though, and I feel guilty when I use Darren's hard earned paycheck to spoil me. Call it whatever you want, but I don't think I deserve to be given things.

So, I work. And don't get me wrong...I love my company. It is exactly what I would want to do with my life if I wanted to work. I just wish I didn't feel the NEED to work.

Which brings me back to my question.

What do I want to do when I grow up???