Do any of you use one day of the week to reflect on the previous 7 days? I tend to do that on Saturdays, to see what worked for me, what didn't, and how situations played out. I am grateful, I cringe, I celebrate, and I cry both good and bad tears.

This past week has been amazing to me. I absolutely, 100% love being a substitute teacher. There was no school Monday due to the holiday. I got a call early Tuesday morning, and I accepted the job. When I walked in, the principal asked me if I could sub all week. I told him I had a job on Thursday at the middle school, and he asked me to sub through the end of the week. I canceled my middle school job and worked in the same high school class all week. I really enjoyed the students, and I didn't have any problems at all. I ate lunch with my cousin the last 2 days I was there, which was neat, too!  This next week, I'm already booked to teach FACS at the middle school, and health at an elementary school.

We signed up for dance!  There are now 4 of us taking classes. Emily is taking tap, ballet, jazz, hip hop, modern, and pointe.  Matt is taking tap and hip hop. Mikey is taking tap. I am taking tap and adult. It's going to be a FUN year!

Ohhhh, do I have BIG NEWS!  Early today, Darren drove Blue Belle to Hy Vee for some grocery shopping. He turned loosely into the parking space next to the cart rack, and dinged the edge of the bumper. It isn't visible, but there is a definite ridge there. I was pretty sad. She just isn't the same.  Well, later that day, Darren got the Porsche running again! He and I took a ride out to the large parking lot of a school, and since it was empty, he turned the keys over to me!  For the first time in my life, I DROVE A STICK SHIFT!  It was the cooling thing I've ever seen. I felt cool hanging out, driving circles in the school parking lot LOL  He said I can't do it at the high school, though. He has team meetings at work all week, so he's going to be driving the Porsche to the meetings.

It's pretty quiet around our house tonight. Matt's spending the night at a friend's house. Emily and Mikey are watching Trauma: Life in the ER. Darren's snoozing on the couch. And here I am with my friends!  It's a beautifully cool, somewhat rainy fall-feeling night. Temperatures are going to be cool all next week, too, and I love LOVE fall weather!  I seriously want to build a bonfire and roast weinies and marshmallows!

        

You should come to my friend's blog party!  Coming Home is releasing their new blog at Coming Home Wine Blog.  I'm developing their blog and their website, so we're really having fun!

        

I have a substitute teaching job all this week. This one is high school level, and I love it!  Honestly, I was a little nervous that the older kids would intimidate me. Then when I got there, a 6'5" TALL big guy showed me to my classroom. What had I gotten myself into today?

Once in the classroom, though, I was right at home. These are delightful students. Very open, willing to accept me at face value. They were interested in learning. I actually saw the light bulb go on in a student's brain, when he finally understood what I was teaching him. It was an amazing feeling!  Oh, and I taught MATH! Anybody who knows me knows what a huge accomplishment that is. But I did it, and I enjoyed it!

I look forward to going back in the morning. In fact, I already have my tote packed and my lunch made. I have writing or thought prompts for whenever there is a few extra minutes at the end of class. I'm PREPARED!

In other news, we signed up for dance. I know Mikey's going to want to do hip hop this year. His buddy, Rob, is taking hip hop. Matt's taking hip hop and tap. Mikey's taking hip hop. Emily's taking tap, ballet, pointe, modern, jazz, tap and hip hop. I'm taking adult and tap. I talked another mom into taking tap with me!

I better head to bed. Morning comes early these days!

        

Sometimes, God just says to be quiet.

Job 34:29

        

On the tail of yesterday's post...

yes, I have regrets. I think we all do. There are things we've all done and said, or written, that we shouldn't have. And we feel convicted. Yesterday was simply MY list of MY biggest regrets, and now that they're out there and dealt with, I can move forward. It's a good, cleansing feeling.

It's LABOR DAY!  We are enjoying the weekend completely. Saturday, I just lounged around the house. I didn't want to get out. Emily was here with me. We ordered pasta from Pizza Hut (it's pretty darned good!) and watched Suite Life eating on the floor of the living room, chatting, laughing, bonding.  The boys headed for the last day at Oceans of Fun. It closes after this weekend, and they wanted to get one last ride down the waterslide, surf on the wave pool, and cross on the obstacle course.

Then, to my surprise, hubby came home in time for us to do the wine bar at Coming Home. It was a short and sweet and we laughed and had fun. Then we came home and watched the Mizzou game.

Yesterday, we went to our friend's house for BBQ, cards, and swimming for the kiddoes. Emily and Dallas went to the movies, then Em spent the night. Just got a call...they're at the movies again. We ordered in Chinese, watched Transformers, and had a blast. Their youngest daughter is 6 weeks older than Matt, and the two of them have a blast together. Mikey is never a tagalong...he is welcome and definitely a part of their group. We laughed and enjoyed our brats and dogs and orange chicken. And I got SLAUGHTERED in hearts!

Today, we are being homebodies. Not quite. We've changed the oil in both vehicles. I cleaned my beloved cruiser with a dust cloth (sad, isn't it?) and now we're going BOWLING! That's something we love doing. Great times, good bonding.

Hope you're enjoying life, your family, and POSSIBLY a day off today. God bless.

        

Is there something that you regret doing, even if you still don't understand what happened?  I have regrets. Words I wish I could have taken back. Actions I want to undo. People I would like to see again.

I wish I could see my Grandma again. I didn't get to tell her good bye, and that sadness has lingered for 21 years. I miss her. My heart aches for her. When I see the front porch of her house (which I often do, because it's right behind me), I can almost see her swinging on the front porch, reading to me, or counting chimes from the Jewell clock tower.  I remember, vividly, practicing my competitive drama routines and waiting for her gentle and effective critiques. As I walk on the Square with my children, I can almost hear our giggles as we went to Brants for back to school shoes, then to Beggs for an ice cream soda.

I regret the last Christmas I spent with Mama. Especially since I should have picked up on it that we were all stressed. I shouldn't have let the words coming from my stepdad's mouth affect me. I should have stayed and taken it, instead of leaving. I thought I was doing the right thing, letting the family have Christmas without the black sheep around. I always make things stressful, I never fit in, not even in my own family. And I regret that I didn't stay and just have Christmas. I will never have that chance again, and it breaks my heart.

I regret moving to Texas. Yes, in hindsight, if we hadn't done it, we most likely wouldn't be where we are now. But I hated it there. I was mistreated because of my northern roots. I was made fun of because of my accent. I was promised things that never happened; birthday dinners, rose bushes to commemorate Grandpa's death, somebody to check on me while Darren was out of town, to make sure I was okay. I've been home longer than I was there, but the pain of the arrogance and snootiness of most of the people I ran into down there still lingers.  I absolutely regret pulling Emily down there. Texas was horrible for her, and she still hasn't recovered. She doesn't trust too easily. It's really sad.

I regret that I didn't get a degree in education. Mom was right! I'm just really stubborn, and I had to do it MY way. That didn't work out too well for me, did it? At least I'm getting somewhat fulfilled in my new job.

I regret wasting money on things that cause pain. Darren's Thunderbird. The Tempo. Two vacations when we didn't have money for it, to see a "friend" get married, only to realize those people didn't want my friendship. There's nothing quite like feeling used LOL

Now I have those regrets out there in the open. I will probably end up regretting what I've written here. That's okay. I'm dealing.

        

Tomorrow, I start my new career. I will be hopping full force into the world of Substitute Teaching. I subbed for a year at another district, but kids and bills got in the way, and for some reason, I quit. I've wanted to teach since college. Great time to decide, huh? This works well, though. I have the opportunity to work when I feel like it, and not work when I don't.  I'll be in a special ed classroom tomorrow, and next Thursday, I'm teaching middle school Spanish. WOOT!

In other news, it was back to school night for Emily's school. We had a wonderful time perusing the halls and meeting the teachers. As my daughter is wont to do, she has already made an impression. I think I'm proud! I had full conversations with two of the French teachers, so we'll see if that leads to a possible sub assignment. I believe it will for one teacher. Maybe even long term, as she is pregnant, due in March. That would be an amazing assignment. I'd love that!

So, that's the short and sweet end of my news. How are you?

        

My boys have really matured this summer. Sis is still the ringleader, but the boys can hold their own.

For a couple of years now, I've allowed Matt to walk to the square with Emily. It's about a four-ish block walk, across one kind of busy street. They've gotten to know the square pretty well at this point, and the merchants even recognize them.  In fact, I was at wine tasting with one local merchant, and she said, "I didn't realize Emily was your daughter!"  That hit me as funny.  This last summer, I've begun to let Mikey walk up to the square with the older kids. He does very well, and there haven't been any problems.

School is right off the square. For all of them, actually. Emily walks to and from school pretty frequently, but her hours don't coincide with the boys'. They've been hounding me all summer and all week about letting them walk to school. So this morning, I let them. I gave them detailed directions, and had them repeat the directions back to me, several times. I armed Matt with his cell phone. I walked to the end of the street with them, and pointed out the way to school with them. And I sent them on the way.

*Something* told me to stay there and watch. I'm so glad I listened to my *something*.  The boys crossed the street and started walking to the school. So far so good. They were talking, but were very aware of what was going on. Then came the scary part. Would they realize Franklin is a street? Would they look both ways before crossing?

WAIT!  What were they doing?  They were doing it wrong!  I can't believe my eyes!  They crossed BACK OVER the street! They were heading BACK HOME! No, they weren't!  They were going...

...THE WRONG WAY!

I hopped on the phone and called Matt. "You need to turn around and come back home. You're going the wrong way."  He argued with me for a moment until I reminded him that I had lived in this neighborhood 37 years longer than he had, and I thought I probably knew my way around. Dejected, he and Mikey turned back around and headed back home. I met them halfway in the car, and drove them to school with just 2 minutes to spare.

I don't know when (if) I will be willing to let them do the "walk to school experiment" anytime soon. My heart can only take so much.

        

I'll never forget when I finally realized we were going to have Emily, and that I would have to make sacrifices as a parent. Billy Joel was coming in concert. Darren and I are huge Billy Joel fans. We had put away our pennies and nickels for our entire marriage, hoping that the day would sometime come when we could see The Piano Man in concert. That time finally came. Billy Joel was coming to Kansas City!  We had $100, enough for nosebleed seats! But then we got to thinking. We had trouble making bills. We were working crazy hours. Would the money be better suited in bringing our new child home, or in jamming it out at a Billy Joel concert?  Of course we chose our daughter! And we have never regretted a second of that decision.

We've made tons of sacrifices for our children since then. Waiting to buy clothes so they would have nice clothes that fit. Eating hot dogs for birthdays because a child ended up in the ER with a boo boo. Driving a mini van instead of a car. Bringing my career to a halt so I could stay home and raise them. You know what? It's all worth it!

This week, our children are 13, 10 and 8.  They are really decent, well behaved, trustworthy, God loving children. They are amazing. They have brought us joy indescribable. On Thursday night, we have FREE tickets to the Chiefs preseason game. Now, Darren and I are huge sports fans, so imagine the excitement.  But...Emily's school's Back to School night is Thursday night, and without a moment's hesitation, we refused the tickets so we could go to her event. We don't regret it for a moment.

        

I was reading my uncle's blog this morning, and he was talking about things that move him. He's deeply introspective in a charming way, and I was moved by what he wrote. A-ha!   I thought...what a wonderful post for today!

So, please meme about what moves you, and link back here.  What gets you in your emotional hot spot?  What makes you feel?

• Snuggling with my children as they sleep. The sounds of their slow breathing, the scent of their clean hair. The way they still arrange themselves in the crook of my arm, even though they're sound asleep. Like instinct.
• Watching my hubby walk in the door after a long day at work. Knowing and appreciating how hard he works for us. Seeing how handsome he is with his briefcase and his work uniform (typically a pair of Dockers and a golf shirt). The pride of his success. I am so proud of him.
• My husband. He moves me in all ways. Physically, of course, but intellectually, as well. He challenges my memory. Stretches my sense of humor. Encourages me.
  
• Coffee with friends. Often intimate and deep. There is just something about the smell of caffeinated goodness that relaxes me, reminding me of settled moments sipping java on some funky couch in some funky java joint.
• Wine with friends. Invigorating, stimulating, full of laughter. Trying new things. Titillating the senses. Headiness.
• Certain music. Beatles, blues, jazz, "our" song, Carly Simon.
• The scent and the feel of a baby.
• One on one "dates" with my kiddoes, where they pour their precious souls out to me. Laughing, crying, enjoying, communicating. Those kids rock my world.
  
• Communing with God. Talking to Jesus. Reading my Bible with newfound abandon.